Night entering May 9

An underground world. Stalagmites and stalactites. I am reminded of the Discovery Zone. There is still a little sun. Two girls and a man. He marries the blond girl in a simple ceremony. No flowers but a bouquet. No guests. I can't even see the priest. The groom seems a little out of it, as if he were drugged, or blind and tipsy. Somewhere I am watching. I see this. Or maybe it's because it's my dream.

In the tent she is sleeping in a bed. Red walls and a toy chandelier made from rhinestones and sequins. I am on the tent floor, my face almost against the canvas wall. He comes in and lays beside me, his chest against my back. I don't fully register that he's there or that it's him. But he holds me and it feels good - warm and secure.

The light shines through the red canvas and my eyes open. Without speaking, without hardly moving, I communicate to him that I am confused. She is not called his wife, but there is that girl sleeping in that bed. I hear him think, 'Shit,' and he gets up, flustered, embarrassed angry. He leaves.

And then the scene jumps. I cannot stop laughing. We are laughing together, our faces nearly touching. I smell lemonade: it pours from the sun. Our smiles are so big that they hurt. My eyes tear. Everything is fixed, healed. Everything I thought of him as is real. It's all true. In this moment, love is an image, not a feeling. I do not say I love him, but this scene is one hundred percent love.

Beaches. Ocean. Sun. Sky. Mountains. A baby's perfect skin. Josh's joking manner. James feeling like a good brother. The family is happy. We are a family. This feeling is just so good.

And damn it it was just a dream.

Would I know what to do with dreams if they told me the future?