the cat's sitting on my lap

Trapped like an animal. I'm flinging myself into the walls and hanging from the chandeliers. I'm loading up on ice cream and throwing it into the streets.

I don't want to sit here and paint. I don't want to write or read or be calm or post on this site.

I had this dream a while back where I was screaming at the edge of a cliff into the space about me. It was raining and my hair was plastered to my face.

Hmm. Why am I sharing this? BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN! I want these feelings to be real and this anxiousness to be satisfied.

I scream inside this mouth behind these teeth inside this skull. You don't hear it but my ears are ringing.

I want to be active. To run, to dance, to jump, to fly, to physically DO SOMETHING.

I will GO

This marathon comes first. That is where I can focus this wondering mind and these jittery feet. I am done and graduated and left with the responsibility of free-time.

I was wondering...what makes a job feel like a career? A retirement plan, insurance that covers health, dental, and optical, paid vacation and sick time, and the ability to pay a mortgage, car expenses, and family needs...so, like, can I do that without a job?

lalalala RE-CENTERING: the marathon is what I want to focus on right now because if I focus on myself, I might just lose it. Please come and support me in this. I need help and encouragement from you so that I know that I am not running these miles in vain but that I truly am making a difference in those kids' lives.

Please visit this link for a direct way to donate.

ALSO keep a look-out for my upcoming open house where I can talk more about what I am doing and why as well as share kabobs, baklava, and hear own stories.

Can we be friends? I like friends.