God has come through...those words so often I hear as empty. But all good things are God, right? And all bad things are the absence of God, yes? So why is God absent in some places? No, He is omnipresent...The world is fallen; it's the only conclusion I can come to, but it doesn't completely give me peace. There is war and destruction all throughout human history and then there are those verses where God says that only He knows what He is doing and that His plan is good. Even when He closes the mind of Pharaoh so that he will not let the Jews go, we are meager and it is not our place to understand. The potter chooses for what to use his vessels - perhaps one for trash and another for gold, another for magic. We trust Him. He is good. So what do I do with those verses? Those verses that literally haunt me?
If I am blessed, if I was born of privilege in a land of freedom, then with that power comes great responsibility.
I heard someone say once: When you finally come face to face with God and He asks you, "What did you do with the time I gave you?" How are you going to say, "I got a job."? I say it repeatedly: I do not want a job; I want to be a part of something bigger than myself.
I am consoled: people tell me that I can do "God's work" in all places, even as a telemarketer selling things that people don't need. I can believe that. I can believe that we "soldiers" are needed in all areas of the field. But at the same time I think, But why? Why settle for selling something that you know will not satisfy anybody - something that will become garbage and a waste of space in as little as a year? Maybe it's just the marketing world I cannot come to terms with...
Please, when you read this, do not feel accused. Let me speak honestly knowing that you understand that I do not judge you. It is me opening myself up looking for my own answer to my own problem (my own problem that I'm convinced most people share).
It's true: we need money to live...kind of. At least it is true that I need money to pay back these student loans (thank you). But it's also true that there are always alternatives. My God LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE HAVE DONE! Look at the monuments that we have raised! Look at the cities that we have built! Look at the problems we have solved! (In spite of the damage we have done.) People are powerful with the right support, the right drive, a shared vision, shared energy, a good leader, hard work, and determined attitudes. It would seem that anything is possible. And so, perhaps
I am gathering my support. I am finding my drive. I am sharing my vision. I am gathering energy. I seek a good partner. I am training to work hard.
Am I determined enough?
No comments:
Post a Comment